Growing and Learning all the way to Phases Virginia
As we are in the season of reflection, I thought I would share part of my story. My story that led to becoming a therapist, working with Whitney, and how our paths intersected to lead us both to Phases Virginia.
At the University of North Carolina, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. In fact, I probably got the award for changing my major so many times and still managing to graduate on time. Originally, I was a chemistry major because I loved AP Chem in high school. But after one class in college I said, “Welp that is nothing like high school chemistry,” so then I switched to Pre-Dental. Suffered through Medical Microbiology (highly DO NOT recommend, ha) and then went through the process of applying to Dental School.
Cue all the tears when I didn’t get in, but honestly it was a blessing in disguise. I learned I would spend most of my time with teeth needing repair or more health, and that wasn’t my cup of tea. So then I was heading into my junior year and thought I just need to pick something and graduate (very inspiring, I know).
So Sociology major and Philosophy minor it was. Makes complete sense, right? (Not…)
Yet, when thinking about jobs following graduation I still had no idea where to go or look. I had experience in event sales, had done marketing internships, loved sports, and loved working with people. Using Carolina’s job board, I began to apply for SO many jobs and all across industries (and the United States): marketing, sales, sociology, etc. I convinced myself that every job was the perfect job for me (though many were not) until I stumbled across Cornerstone Montgomery and got the opportunity to interview with Whitney Houston.
Cornerstone Montgomery was a community behavioral mental health agency that supported individuals 16+. They helped individuals diagnosed with mental health disorders figure out how to manage their diagnosis in high school, and then figure out what came next after high school. Should you get a job or go to school? Should you live at home or live on your own? Life questions that every kid wrestles with; yet, they may seem even more daunting as somebody managing his or her mental health. The hope that the employees at Cornerstone Montgomery instilled in their clients was contagious and inspiring. All of these really hard things were true for clients, AND YET, they can still have success, hope, and meaning.
Working for Whitney Houston at Cornerstone Montgomery changed my life. At the time, Whitney was an LPC and the way she led our team challenged and empowered me to learn, grow, and really become a sponge. Every week, I was challenged to think about different perspectives, different therapeutic techniques, different ideas during each case presentation.
Every week, Whitney challenged me to not only grow my clients, but grow myself. Where did I want to be in 5 years? What role could I impact the most amount of people and how could I instill hope or meaning in somebody’s life? How could I learn more and educate myself even more in all things related to therapy? As much as I wanted to grow and move up at Cornerstone Montgomery, I never wanted to stop learning from Whitney. Not only was she my boss that challenged me, but she also became a friend. We found time to bond over softball, family, and dogs (among other things)!
Under Whitney, I debated working towards my LPC in grad school or becoming a school counselor. I wanted to provide therapy, and also knew so many young kids slipped through the cracks and were never given the skills to be successful starting in elementary school. I never pulled the trigger because I couldn’t quite decide (decisions aren’t my strong suit always) and I wanted to continue working under Whitney. The day Whitney told me she was taking another job within Cornerstone Montgomery, was a HARD and very SAD day. I had a lot of tears (not an exaggeration) and couldn’t imagine working for anybody else. I thought that was the end of my growth and development.
Within two weeks of my new supervisor, I had a applied and started grad school. I chose a program for school counseling that also offered the additional courses needed to be an LPC. Post graduation, I chose to continue my Counseling Residency with Whitney as my supervisor. I was thrilled that I got the opportunity to be challenged about client situations, my worldview, theoretical orientation, and to seep up the knowledge that Whitney had to offer. I also got the opportunity as a school counselor to begin giving the young kiddos in elementary school the tools, verbiage, and skills to manage and understand feelings. We both learned and grew through my residency, as I was working with a population neither of us had worked with before.
Through my residency, we both began exploring the idea of starting a Private Practice.
The idea of creating an environment where clients could explore, find hope, find meaning, and grow was so important and valuable.
A practice that allowed its’ therapist to continue to grow, learn, and explore their worldview, all while providing hope and safe places for clients. A practice where Whitney and I could continue to learn and grow together, pick each other’s brains, and continuously challenge each other to learn, grow, and not become stagnant in our practices, beliefs, theories, or techniques.
Growth and changes, the flow of life and seasons, and the various phases of life led to the creation of Phases Virginia. Even though Whitney and I are in very different phases of life, we both knew we were committed to helping others find hope and meaning, despite anything else in every client’s life. We were both committed to create a safe, welcoming, inclusive, supporting environment (don’t be fooled, we will still challenge you and hold you accountable for your goals) for all clients to discover themselves, their own worldview, their own goals, and continue to grow and learn.
Saying we wanted to start Phases Virginia behind this vision didn’t mean we just snapped our fingers and it became a reality. It was actually way harder than I ever thought it could be to start a business. So many hours spent creating a website (who knew that moving a box or changing a color could take one person an hour lol), developing a business plan, creating an EHR, AND still continuing to be a school counselor, a sister, a friend, a daughter. Oh and still finding time to eat, sleep, exercise, and relax!
Yet, every minute of it has been worth it. To watch clients learn, find hope, find meaning, and always keep growing. To watch myself learn and grow. It makes the many hours spent working or video calling or creating so worth it.
As I reflect on this process and my journey, I have learned so many things. A few key takeaways:
1) Relationships in life (though not always easy) are so important. Whether these relationships are with coworkers, bosses (turned friends and peers), significant others, or family members they will continue to help you grow, learn, and get through the chaos or many phases of life. Choose your people wisely!
2) Never settle. Always continue to challenge yourself and set goals that push you outside your comfort zone. Always keep learning and growing. The worst that could happen is failure, and I firmly believe we often learn more and grow more from failure than sometimes we do even from success. If I hadn’t failed, I could be stuck filling cavities and surrounded by unclean teeth, when really my calling is to empower people to overcome, find meaning, and reach their goals.
3) Resiliency is key. There have been ups and downs and even moments where we doubted if Phases Virginia could be successful. Yet, without resiliency we would not be where we are today.
"The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open." - C. JoyBell C.
I challenge anybody reading this to throw yourself out in the open! Take the leap, accept the challenge, and know that the worst case scenario is just failure. If failure happens, find a plan B or plan C, pivot, and keep growing!
Therapists, like myself at Phases Virginia, can help you identify the leaps you want to take, support you while you take the leap, and help you either pick up the pieces or celebrate the wins post leap! We can help you find meaning or hope, even when everything might be crumbling around you or you don’t even have the words to understand the phase of life you might be in. Life is chaotic, messy, and hard. AND life can still have meaning and hope.
Phases Virginia understands the phases of life and would love to be part of whatever phase you are in!