Dear Parents: It’s Not Selfish to Take Care of Yourself
Dear Parents,
We see you.
The ones who’ll stay up all night researching the right specialist for your child. The ones who rearrange their workday for speech therapy, OT, and counseling appointments. The ones who will spend anything, sacrifice anything—to help your kids thrive.
But when was the last time you asked yourself, “How am I really doing?”
At Phases Virginia, we talk to parents across Virginia who are holding everything together for everyone else—yet silently unraveling inside. You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to wait until a crisis. And no, it’s not selfish to take care of yourself.
In fact, it might be the most loving thing you can do—for your kids and for you.
Why Resilience in Parenthood Matters
Resilience isn’t about pushing through or pretending you’re fine. It’s the ability to bend, adapt, and recover. And when you invest in your own mental health, you model what healthy emotional regulation looks like to your children.
But here’s what we see: Parents put their children in therapy but delay getting support for themselves. You deserve care too—without shame, without apology.
“Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your kids.” – Brené Brown
The Invisible Load Parents Carry
You may look like you’ve got it all together on the outside. But inside, many parents are struggling with:
- Parental burnout: chronic emotional exhaustion
- Guilt and comparison: especially fueled by social media
- Loss of identity: when everything becomes about your child
- Anxiety about the future: finances, education, safety, and health
These are real stressors—and they can take a toll on your body, your mind, and your relationships.
5 Ways to Build Emotional Resilience as a Parent
1. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away—they’re about protecting what matters. Say no to what drains you and yes to your well-being. A helpful phrase? “That doesn’t work for us right now.”
2. Ask for Help Before the Breaking Point
You don’t have to wait until you’re overwhelmed to ask for help. Therapy, support from friends, or leaning on your partner is not weakness—it’s wisdom. According to the American Psychological Association, social support is one of the strongest buffers against stress.
3. Practice Self-Compassion, Not Perfection
You’re doing your best. And that’s enough. Be as kind to yourself as you are to your child. Self-compassion leads to lower anxiety, more patience, and better emotional regulation.
4. Create Micro-Rituals of Peace
Small moments matter. Take a deep breath before pickup. Light a candle after bedtime. Listen to music while cooking. These little routines help you regulate and ground yourself.
5. Make Therapy a Routine, Not a Rescue
Therapy isn’t just for when things fall apart. It’s a place to process, grow, and reconnect with your identity. You don’t have to do this alone.
Why Parents Across Virginia Choose Phases Virginia
At Phases Virginia, we provide secure, online therapy for parents across the state. Whether you're navigating postpartum anxiety, blended family dynamics, burnout, or just need space to breathe—we’re here.
All sessions are virtual. All support is real. We offer a superbill for out-of-network reimbursement and make getting started easy.
You're Not Selfish. You're Human.
You’ve done so much for everyone else.
Now it’s time to do something for you.
👉 Schedule your first session today and start feeling like yourself again.